"If I hate someone, the hate is mine, my emotion, my feeling. I should not say I hate someone because they are hateful. It is I who am full of hate. It is mine to conquer or be conquered by". Tobias Stanislas Haller BS
I recently came across this quote. It really spoke to me.
It resonated in me and I have to say I wholeheartedly agree with it and let me tell you why!
In my life I have been wronged many times. Sometimes by mistake, sometimes intentionally and sometimes maliciously. (this isn't to say I have never wronged anyone because I'm sure I have many times).
This has caused me to hate. One person in particular springs to mind who shall remain anonymous but who wronged me for the longest time. It effected my life and partly made me into the person I am today. It made me have issues with trust, body image, self worth and many other things. I hated this person. vehemently and hatefully! I wished for his death many times. I couldn't stand to be in the same room as him for any amount of time and it caused a rift in my family. With my whole heart. I said I forgave but did I really? I'm not sure I did.
You see the quote above is very true. The emotion was mine, He didn't care that I hated him, the only person feeling it was me. It was Me who took time out of my day to feel it. It was me that spent the nights lying awake going over different scenarios in my mind, resurrecting the past and remembering things I| thought long forgotten. The Hate was mine. I could choose to do with it what I wanted. And I decided to let it go. I gave myself the power over my emotion back. I freed myself in a way the other person could never do. Hate can be conquered or can conquer you. I choose to conquer it!
If you are still with me thank you for reading and listening to the ramblings of my mind. I hope that on some level this has helped someone.
Bye for now